Len Dykstra: Philosopher King

Who knew Len Dykstra was so tight with Charlie Sheen? Then again, is anyone really surprised?

John Clark of NBC10 interviewed Lenny D recently and the result was some of the most entertaining television since "Winter Wipeout." There are several clips to choose from, but you must watch all of them.

Here are some choice quotes from one of our favorite centerfielders:

On his dislike for the chumminess of players today: "No talking to the other team. We're going to go into their yard, take their money and f*ck their women. That's what we're going to do."

"I see guys striking out 185 times. I could go up there without a bat and not strike out 185 times. I'm not kidding."

On his new rule regarding firing people: "You f*ck me once, I put you on probation. You f*ck me twice, I put you on death row. You f*ck me three times, I execute you. Execute you the way I fire you. No tears. There's no crying in baseball."

On his critics: "What matters is all those people, they'll be shining my shoes, OK? And they'll all come back wanting to suck my d*ck, which they will. Guess what I'll tell them? You have any idea? Yeah, go f*ck yourself."

On the "torture" that Mitch Williams put him through: "What do you mean? The guy hit barrel after barrel, dude. What do you mean, what did he put me through? He lost the World Series."

Awe. Some.

It's funny that Dykstra is loved in both New York and Philadelphia for being such a key figure on each town's pennant-winning teams. I wonder if Dykstra feels closer to New York since he won a World Series here, but he seems tight with both fan bases.

I'd love to see the Mets embrace Dykstra as a spokesperson, fitting given both parties' financial issues. I can see Lenny greeting fans in the rotunda, shrugging his shoulders with his pockets turned out, like the Monopoly man.

Dykstra also talks a bit about his good friend Sheen, and if there was ever a reality show that needs to be made it's one that follows these two guys around.

Duh, winning!

He's just so radickeylous

Make that an MLB-leading 18 shutouts for the Mets, thanks to R.A. Dickey's phenomenal performance Friday night against the Phillies.

Dickey threw the 35th one-hitter in Mets history, facing just two more than the minimum 27 batters, walking one and striking out seven. The lone hit, of course, was by opposing pitcher Cole Hamels, who blooped a single to right in the sixth. Figures.

It was the second complete-game one-hitter by the Mets this season, the previous tossed by Jonathon Niese. It was also the 14th complete game in MLB this season featuring one or less hits in this, the year of the pitcher.

Dickey's gem was the second straight complete game for the closer-less Mets, who will get Frankie Rodriguez back on Saturday. K-Rod reportedly agreed to anger management and will address his situation to the media when he returns.

In the meantime, for two games since the K-Rod incident, the Mets bullpen was quiet thanks to Johan Santana and Dickey, whose combined excellence gave the Mets their first back-to-back wins since June 23, an incredible stretch. The shutout Friday was necessary as the Mets scored just one run, the eighth time this month the offense has scored three runs or less.

Then again, when it comes to the Phillies, the Mets don't need more than one. The Mets have blanked the Fight-less Phils four straight times at Citi Field, outscoring them 17-0 in the process.

The lone run was knocked in on consecutive two-out doubles in the eighth by David Wright and Carlos Beltran, and wouldn't it be nice if that duo starts heating up? Jerry Manuel started a lineup of all righties against Hamels, who kills lefties, starting Mike Hessman at first.

Hessman validated the move by blasting a pitch leading off the fifth over the orange line atop the left-field wall. It was originally ruled a home run, and despite replays that clearly showed the ball hitting the railing above the line as a fan tried to grab it, the umpires — after a long 10-minute delay (which told you something was up) gave Hessman a ground-rule triple.

Runner on third and no outs? Still tough for the Mets to score. Jeff Francoeur and Henry Blanco looked awful striking out, and then Hamels walked Ruben Tejada to face Dickey, who grounded out to end the threat.

The Mets displayed great defense again, especially early, with nice stops by Reyes and Hessman. After that, the Phillies were flailing at Dickey's outstanding knuckleball, which he threw 102 times, against just three fastballs.

Amazing.

We should all be like Johan Santana

What Johan Santana did today for the New York Mets was nothing short of amazing, and this is a franchise that knows from amazing.

Much the same way he pitched a gem when the Mets needed a win at the end of the 2008 season, Santana came up huge a day after the Mets saw another eighth-inning lead disappear, only to have their closer, Frankie Rodriguez, arrested for assaulting his father-in-law near the clubhouse after the game.

Do we have a Flushing Zoo on our hands?

Thursday afternoon's game was an afterthought for many in the media, who took the K-Rod incident and the blown game Wednesday to sharpen their knives and call for the heads of Jerry Manuel, Jeff Wilpon, Fred Wilpon, Omar Minaya, and just about everyone connected with this team short of Mr. Met and the Cowbell Man.

Meanwhile, Santana (who has his own personal issues to worry about) took the ball and went to work. Setup man? Closer? He didn't need them. In a game where the Mets desperately needed a win, to win a series and to get back to .500 and keep alive whatever hopes they have of staying in the playoff hunt, Santana did it all. Nine innings, four hits, two walks, 10 strikeouts, 115 pitches. No runs.

It was the Mets' 17th shutout of the season. Again, as I said yesterday, that a team with 17 shutouts is only .500 tells you all you need to know about how bad the offense has been, especially lately.

But it wasn't just Johan. Coincidentally, Carlos Beltran went 3-for-3 and had an RBI sac fly. Jose Reyes had two hits and scored a run. And wouldn't you know it, the Mets won. Think that had anything to do with it?

It was a tremendous win. Beltran showed signs of life. But the big story was K-Rod, who is on the restricted list for two days and could likely be suspended by the team as well.

If there wasn't blood in the water, it's crimson now. If people weren't burying the Mets before, they're piling on the dirt in spades.

I expect it from the media. Objectivity is a quaint relic these days. It's all about opinions, and second-guessing, and bluster and bombast and who can yell louder than the next guy. It's about pushing people's buttons and polls and page views and blog comments.

What bugs me the most is how many Mets fans seem to revel in the bad news. It seems that if the Mets aren't good — and when I say good I mean unquestionably good — these kinds of fans would prefer the Mets be horrible, so they can freely rage at the organization and its players. Quick to bury them, to dump them, to call for people's jobs and demand trades.

If the Mets are somewhere in between, like the Mets are now (.500 is the definition of in between), these fans can't handle it. We can't revel in the team's superiority, but the team isn't awful, either, and with 48 games left there's still a chance they can make a run...

Nah... let's just bury them. It's simpler that way.

To me, these people aren't fans. They're critics. They're cranks.

I follow the Mets and watch their games to enjoy them. If the team is bad, it's bad. If it's great, it's great. If it's somewhere in the middle, I watch and root for them to get in the race. I cheer for my team. I boo the opposition.

I can't see how fans who are so quick to bury and belittle and tear apart this team — their team — get any joy out of being a Mets fan. There's no belief. No hope against hope. Just miserable people wallowing in their misery. They should all hang out together with Joe Benigno with T-shirts emblazoned with their credo: "Oh, the pain!"

I'm a realist. I understand that it's a tall order for the Mets to rally back and make a playoff run. This team has holes that management refused to fill. It's far from perfect. They need a bunch of guys to collectively get their acts together, and soon.

But the Phillies and the Rockies and other teams in recent years have shown that you can make up games in a hurry. Seventeen shutouts gives me hope. Santana gives me hope. The possibility of Reyes, Wright, Beltran, Pagan, Davis, Thole and (hopefully) Bay finding their groove at the plate together gives me hope.

Quick story: I was a freshman at Boston University when the Mets won in 1986. I remember watching game six in a friend's dorm room with a bunch of people, and when Boston took the lead late, the Sox fans — real and bandwagoneers — took off for Kenmore Square to celebrate.

I stayed and watched with my pal Tim, a Sox fan. He anticipated Boston's first World Series in 69 years. I had nothing but hope.

What a feeling it was to stand outside the elevator doors on our floor later in the evening, after the Mets rallied to win, waiting until those doors opened, to see everyone who ran out to celebrate slinking back. Oh, how good it felt to stick it to those who thought it was over.

That's kind of how I feel now. It may not happen, but how good will it feel if the Mets somehow do put it together and make the playoffs? To stick it to everyone who said they were done?

Santana isn't giving up anytime soon. Neither am I.

As for whether we have a Flushing Zoo, you'll recall there was a Bronx Zoo, where the manager hated the team's star player, where the star and the captain hated each other, where the owner made as many headlines as the team. That team won two World Series.

I've always liked the zoo.

The Mets, by the numbers: It all adds up to nothing.

While Mets fans and media are sure to continue their calls for manager Jerry Manuel to be fired after the Mets' latest loss — a 6-2 stomach punch delivered by the Colorado Rockies — let's take a look at the numbers, shall we?

15: The number of Mets retired in a row to end the game.

1: The number of hits generated by the Mets after their second batter of the game, Angel Pagan, hit a two-run homer (Jose Reyes singled to lead off the first).

11: Starts this season by Jonathan Niese where he has allowed one run or less. What a waste.

4: Strikeouts by David Wright in this game, in as many at-bats. The only player colder is Carlos Beltran. The two are the 3-4 hitters on this team.

.216: The Mets' team batting average since the All-Star break.

3: Runs per game the Mets have scored in that stretch, during which they are 8-17.

5: Consecutive scoreless appearances by Manny Acosta entering Wednesday's night game. So much for Manuel playing the hot hand.

2: Strikes, with no balls and two outs, on Todd Helton against Hisanori Takahashi, with the bases empty in the top of the eighth inning with the Mets clinging to a 2-1 lead. One strike away from handing the ball to K-Rod. But the Red Sox can tell us all about being one strike away, can't they?

So tell me again how this is all Jerry's fault?

You don't hit, you don't score runs. You don't score runs, you waste terrific pitching efforts like this one from Niese. And you don't win games.

Takahashi, who was terrific the night before in supplying the bridge to K-Rod, couldn't retire Helton after being ahead 0-2. Helton singled on a 1-2 pitch, bringing up Carlos Gonzalez, another lefty, who waved at a 2-1 slider. But Takahashi threw two more balls, walking Gonzalez.

Jerry brings in the hard-throwing Acosta, who has held hitters to a .200 average and who has been shining lately, and he immediately throws a wild pitch to put the go-ahead run at second. (That's not exactly what I call good execution.)

That leads to the intentional walk of Tulowitzki, bringing up ex-Met Melvin Mora, who quickly fell behind 0-2. One strike away once again.

A ball. A foul ball. A ball. A grand slam by Mora (which brings up another depressing number, 9, which is the league-leading number of grand slams allowed by the Mets this season). Another run after a walk and two singles.

Two times, one strike away.

How bad is the Mets offense? You can look at all the stats you want, but consider this: The Mets ' pitching leads the league with 16 shutouts. With that kind of starting pitching, your offense must be pretty putrid for your team to struggle to stay above .500.

You want to fire Howard Johnson? I personally don't think it would matter, but at this point I guess it wouldn't hurt because it can't get any worse on offense. Maybe it shakes things up. Maybe not.

Wednesday night's loss proved once again that the Mets are where they are because of a lack of production, pure and simple. The bullpen isn't always in one-run games if the hitters can provide a cushion. The margin for error isn't always so razor-thin.

It isn't about bullpen management, or fire in the belly, or heart, or leadership, or guts. It is about the talent on the roster either being able to produce, or not. For the last month, on offense, the Mets have not produced at all. And that has been killing them.

It's really not that complicated.

Don't take those shovels out just yet

The Mets have played a lot of good games this season. Good, close games. Pitcher's duels. Exciting games.

It's just that they've lost most of them.

It seems that whenever the Mets do something well, like put up runs against Roy Halladay, something goes bad, like R.A. Dickey allowing eight hits in three innings. Or when Jon Niese holds the Phillies to one run in seven innings, only to see Bobby Parnell give up four straight hits in the bottom of the eighth.

It's always something.

Other than that stretch in May and June when the Mets went 24-10 before heading to San Juan, the Mets have been off.

The current downfall has been caused by a struggling offense incapable of generating anything in a 23-game stretch since the All-Star break, one that featured 17 road games and a bunch of quality starters on the other side. Not a good combination.

Carlos Beltran has not been himself and should not be batting third or fourth until he gets hot. David Wright, the only one hitting for a while, is now slumping, and he and Beltran went a combined 5-for-45 in the games at Atlanta and Philly.

The changes the Mets made over the weekend were positive, especially releasing Alex Cora, but understand that as good as Ruben Tejada is defensively, he is a black hole on offense. Luis Castillo should not be banished to the bench completely. Despite his current numbers he brings more potential to the lineup and second base should be treated much like right field, where Castillo starts 3-4 games and Tejada starts the others, to see if that can light a fire under Castillo the rest of the way.

And when he plays, Castillo bats second. Please. We saw this again over the weekend when Reyes was on first and Pagan was trying to bunt him over and the announcers were screaming.

That's why Castillo should be there, taking pitches so Reyes can steal or bunting Reyes over, or bunting for a hit, so Pagan or Wright or whoever is batting third can drive him in. Move Pagan to the middle of the order, third or fifth or sixth, unless Tejada is at second.

The Mets haven't proven they can win back-to-back games, let alone series, in this slump and they need to break out of it soon, and the six home games against Colorado and Philly is a great place to start, followed by seven road games against Houston and Pittsburgh. That's followed by six home games against Florida and Houston.

I hate projecting the schedule -- it's such a talk radio show thing to do and the projections never come true -- but let's say 13-6 happens in that stretch, and then the Mets split four at Atlanta and take 4 of the next 6 at Chicago and Washington.

That 19-10 run would put the Mets seven games over .500 at 74-66 on Sept. 9, an off day. From then on the Mets would play 17 of 22 games at home.

Can they go 16-6 down the stretch and win 90 games? Will that be enough for a wild card spot?

It's still possible. Maybe not likely, but possible. A lot has to happen.

The season ain't over just yet. So keep the shovels at bay. At least for another week or so.

No help: Omar, Wilpons abandon Manuel, players

There is this assumption that by doing nothing to add to the roster, the Mets are sealing Jerry Manuel's fate as manager, and that his firing at the end of what could be another playoff-less season is a done deal.

First of all, if you don't think he's doing a good job, fire him now.

Second, the man whose fate you'd think would be sealed is Omar Minaya. He's done nothing to help the team in-season in his entire tenure, but especially this season, when the need for another starter was so obvious for so long. Manuel and even some players, like David Wright, made it known that they could use the help.

But Omar is being a good soldier by insisting he has the green light to make a deal when ownership has probably told him that he can't add any more salary. And he can't release Oliver Perez because he's making so much money, and ownership can't swallow paying someone that much for not contributing. Not that he's contributing now, anyway.

Omar is just doing what he's told, so presumably he'll be protected.

That leaves Manuel stuck with the players he has, and that list includes two guys off the DL, one of whom is ice cold (Beltran) and one who everyone outside the locker room apparently hates (Castillo -- although he started to hit against Atlanta), two players who were cold and are now hurt (Bay and Barajas), the hot-and-cold Francoeur, a rookie in Ike Davis, and a weak bench.

Only Reyes, Wright and Pagan have been dependable, and even there, Reyes hasn't been playing up to his own level, and Wright has had brutal cold streaks (he's started another one).

Angel Pagan has been the team's best player, by far, except for maybe R.A. Dickey. That says a lot.

The real culprit with this team is ownership. The Wilpons spend money, no doubt. No one foresaw Jason Bay going a whole season without getting hot, and having this drastic a power loss. They've paid big bucks for free agents before, so you can't call them cheap.

But this season, after a lost season due to injury last year, and after two seasons of bitter collapses, ownership had the opportunity to win back the fans who could no longer stomach the situation and have started to stay away.

Yes, they added all the nice Mets-y touches like the Hall of Fame and moved the apple and added big photos of old Mets. Great.

But what fans really want is an ownership that is willing to fund changes necessary to allow the team to compete and to win. That has not happened.

Instead, we get reports that the Wilpons lost a ton of money to Bernie Madoff and that has affected the ballcub, something they have denied again and again.

But the proof is in the pudding, and despite many opportunities to do something to help the team — whether it's throwing money to the wind and cutting Perez for the good of the club, or acquiring needed talent — management has done nothing.

That's on the owners, who aren't going anywhere.

Omar is just taking orders, so he's safe.

That leaves Manuel, who like many managers before him and many who will come after, as the scapegoat. When, in fact, almost none of what has troubled this team is his fault. (You want to question his moves, fine, but you'll have those questions with pretty much any manager you bring in.)

Wednesday night's error-filled loss doesn't reflect well on Manuel, but he's not the one throwing balls away, or missing the strike zone, or hitting batters, or failing to hit. The players are well aware of their situation and are trying — probably too hard — but they're just not executing.

A third of the season remains, with a lot of home games and games against teams like Houston and Pittsburgh. The Phillies are battered, and despite winning the Mets series the Braves have shown signs of coming back to earth (10-10 since the break). The Mets, warts and all, are better than their 6-14 record since the All-Star game.

But the reality is that nothing is going to happen to fix what is broken and the inertia comes from the top. Ownership can't spend money, so management can't make changes, so the roster stays the same, flaws and all.

That leaves it up to the players in the room and Manuel to beat the odds and somehow find a way to put it all together in the final 54 games.

Can it happen? If you believe that the players who have underperformed can rebound down the stretch, then, yes, it is possible.

Ya gotta believe. Because there's nothing else to count on.