Jose Reyes and the amateur medical community

One of the first things that flashed through my mind when I heard Jose Reyes would be out 2-8 weeks because of his thyroid condition was the final scene in Pulp Fiction where Jules tells Pumpkin about the Bible verse (Ezekiel 25:17) he has memorized, the one about the "path of the righteous man," the one he recites to his victim before he pops a cap in his ass.

Jules questions the meaning of the verse, finally determining that Pumpkin is the weak, and that he is the tyranny of evil men. "But I'm tryin,' Ringo," he says. "I'm tryin' real hard to be the shepherd."

That's how I felt with the Reyes news. It's yet another in a string of unfortunate events for this Mets team that I have been rooting for the past 35 years, and while it would certainly be understandable for a Mets fan to just give into the gloom and doom and write off the season in friggin' MARCH -- I'm tryin' real hard to stay positive.

Honestly, the diagnosis was extremely positive for Reyes personally. Too bad he's an athlete. For us desk jockeys, being told to rest and relax for a couple of weeks would have little impact on our lives. For a pro baseball player in the middle of spring training -- even though the condition appears that it will go away on its own and is not chronic -- the timing just sucks.

And for a team like the Mets, who endured an epic avalanche of injuries last season, and is already starting the season without Carlos Beltran... well, I don't have to explain how bad it is.

What gets me -- but no longer surprises me -- is how so many fans and media types are falling over themselves playing doctor. Why doesn't he just take medication and get back out there? This can't possibly be because of diet or a virus! Something's fishy here!

Thankfully, there have been plenty of reports in various places quoting actual medical professionals, who say thyroid issues like this are not uncommon and completely treatable.

Joe and Evan -- after talking about thyroids for two hours on WFAN -- finally had an endocrinologist on their show Friday. It went something lke this:

FAN: Can it really be 2-8 weeks? They can't narrow that down?

DOC: Yes, that range is right. It depends on the person. Average is 3-4 weeks.

FAN: He can't play at all?

DOC: No, a 'fast' thyroid elevates the heart rate even at rest. Physical activity makes it worse, and can cause real problems with your heart.

FAN: Why doesn't he take medication?

DOC: In this case, it wouldn't do anything.

Well... OK, then.

The real trick will be to see if this knowledge changes the tone of guys like Benigno, who couldn't even pronounce endocrinologist when the doctor came on the air.

So what can you do? Like Mets fans do every year, hope for the best and that Reyes only misses the first 2 or 3 weeks of the season.

Is Reyes just really unlucky? I'm not sure. Let's just say I wouldn't share a cab with him or stand anywhere near him during a rainstorm anytime soon.

Why do we hate the Yankees? Let us count the ways

My grandfather on my mother's side was a big Yankees fan. I recall many times watching games at his house back in the 70s when they were winning and when the whole Steinbrenner-Billy Martin-Bronx Zoo thing was in full swing.

At the time, I can honestly say I didn't hate the Yankees. They were a good team, I enjoyed talking about them with my grandpa, and I liked Billy Martin. I even had a collection of famous Bill Gallo sketches of Martin that the Daily News sold as a set, with several of them hanging in my room (and later, in my first job after college, above my desk at work). And because I was a Strat-O-Matic Fanatic -- and got into the Oldtimers Series -- I had an appreciation for the great Yankees teams of years gone by.

I even had a Yankees T-shirt. (Shudder)

Things changed in the 90s with the Yankees revival. And while there were certain Yankees whom I hated (Paul O'Neill, Jorge Posada, Roger Clemens), and while I refused to give any credit to Joe Torre for "managing" this team of stars, the real reason for the hatred was because of the Yankees fans.

The sense of entitlement, the arrogance, the blindness to the team's significant economic advantages (I know, it's the league's fault, not the team's) -- those were the things that made Yankees fans, particularly the spoiled, younger ones, so annoying, which jacked up the hate level a million fold.

So why do I bring this up now? Because fantasy guru Matthew Berry has an outstanding post on why he hates the Yankees. Classic stuff. A personal story that cuts to the true essence of the obnoxious Yankees fans.

Are all fans of the Bronx Bombers like this? Of course not. But there are waaayyyyy too many of them.

And if you're into fantasy baseball, stick around for Berry's Love/Hate list. Berry isn't always right -- in fact, he's wrong a lot -- but he's entertaining enough and I always make a point of reading his stuff. Two American Roid Rage Federation NL baseball championships in three seasons can't be wrong!

Joe Benigno is an ass

I usually eat lunch at my desk. Maybe once a week or so, I'll go get a sandwich and a copy of the News or the Post and drive to the local marina for a nice, relaxing lunch, reading tabloid journalism and listening to the radio.

Since I am a creature of habit and always eat lunch at noon, the program on WFAN at that time is Joe Benigno and Evan Roberts. Among the FAN personalities, I find the pair only slightly more tolerable than Mike Francesa.

Evan, however, is on vacation, which means Joe was "flying solo" today. Of course, it was on his show that I learned about Jose Reyes' thyroid imbalance.

I will admit that yesterday's news of Reyes needing more bloodwork gave me pause. I mean, what more can happen to this guy? Today we learned exactly what the problem is, and that he'd be flying back to New York for more tests.

That's all Joe needed. He had a couple of callers who explained that thyroid conditions are not uncommon, and very treatable -- either hyperthyroidism (too active, likely Reyes' case), or hypothyroidism (not active enough). Then another caller, claiming to be a Mets fan, piped up that "where there's smoke there's fire," then said he was ready to let his 10-year-old son become a Yankees fan.

Joe jumped right on board, not on the switching of allegiances, but on how this could mean that maybe Reyes was involved with something beyond plasma therapy with Dr. Galea, that maybe it has something to do with HGH, that maybe the hamstring tendon injury and these new developments were all tied together.

"You start connecting the dots," he said, adding, "and then it makes sense" that maybe these things are connected.

That statement is beyond idiotic. But not surprising coming from Joe B.

I wonder if Benigno knew that hyperthyroidism is often caused by Graves' disease. So instead of being concerned for Reyes' health, Joe would rather postulate that this was caused by Reyes illegally taking HGH. Nice.

Joe, of course, went on to say that he hopes this wasn't serious, but quickly added that "as a Mets fan" you had to wonder.

No, Joe, you don't have to. Joe may want to jump to conclusions, and something tells me that there is a big part of him that secretly hopes HGH is involved, so he can continue to whine about the Mets, and about Reyes, which fits right in with his "Oh, the pain" mantra.

That this guy views himself as the voice of the Mets and Jets fan sickens me. And he has a book coming out about rules for New York sports fans.

Oh, the gall. This guy has as much business writing a book as I do performing a heart transplant.

Here's hoping that Reyes' issues are minor and have no effect on his health or his play this season, and that Joe B. has one less thing to complain about.

Hot start, big finish? MLB schedule maker helps out

A popular sentiment this spring has been that Mets manager Jerry Manuel needs his team to start strong if he wants to keep his job.

I don't necessarily agree -- I think as long as the Mets are competitive and stay in the mix, Jerry will be fine -- but it looks as if fate (or whoever makes the MLB schedule) has, for once, decided to shine upon the Metropolitans.

Want that quick start? Well, the Mets play 23 games in April and 16 of them are at Citi Field. From April 13-28, the Mets play 16 games in as many days, and the final 10 are at home.

Buster Olney notes that the Mets play 19 straight games against 2009 contenders in late April/early May, so there are some tough games up front.

Looking for a strong finish? The schedule is doing everything in its power to prevent another collapse. (Either that, or make that collapse as painful as possible.) The Mets play 17 of 30 games in September and October at home, including 17 of their last 22. The final seven games of the season are at Citi Field, against the Brewers and the Nationals.

The five road games in that final stretch? Two at Florida and three at Philly. Call them "meaningful games in September" if you want.

In between, obviously, are mostly road games, but there's no road trip that looks too daunting.

Of course, with so many home games early on, if the Mets do stumble out of the gate, in front of their increasingly-edgy fans, it would ratchet up the pressure on Jerry and his crew. Here's hoping the home fans use those games to get the team going, rather than looking for an early excuse to boo.